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Rakish Heir

It's unrealistic to think you'd ever win with this, but it gets a pass because it's a functional card for die-rolling decks even if you never hit the jackpot

Blue is the heavyweight champion of yoink, and Memnarch holds the belt

Although printing the files Door and Body presupposes some bridging

Also, I really like the insurance against removal in the death trigger that keeps your +1/+1 counters in play

If Wilfred Mott leaves the battlefield after its ability has triggered but before it resolves, use the number of time counters it had on it the last time it was on the battlefield to determine the value of X