Were in Magic land, obviously, so anything is potentially capable of speech but the main thought here is could I see this possibly being a pet? Its a little fuzzy of a rule, but a good start
At any time between turns, if the Pokmon this card is attached to has at least 3 damage counters on it, remove 3 damage counters from it
Needing to discard the biggest card can be irritating since it means you need to pitch spells (rather than lands) to grow Cait, Cage Brawler, but this is interesting
We have nine one-mana hard counters, which gives us a strong edge in the early turns when they try to resolve key threats
The operator runs without a licence, dispatch can drift well past its quoted window in busy spells, and cashing out routes through a voucher that shaves a slice off the top
Destroying an artifact owned by any player on hit is a great repeatable trigger to have