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After talking to a super un helpful man at my local hardware store (shout out to Koontz Hardware!), I figured out that it really does need to be sanded (you know, with a sander and not just sandpaper) and would likely need several coats of paint

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Although they are a chain, the food is top notch and delicious

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If the shower is a casual event a T-shirt and flowy skirt may do